A Moment of Mortification, a Day of Transformation and My First Insight

Hello dear Reader, I hope you're doing well!

Ever heard about the first time I figured out what it means to be a ‘thinking human’? I’d love to tell you the story (again) today.

But, let's rewind a bit to set the scene …

In 2005, at the age of 30, I served as the lead online concept developer in a Munich-based marketing agency.

My boss, the agency owner, graciously supported my quest to acquire the qualifications for becoming a strategic planner.

So early one morning, I hopped on an ICE train to Frankfurt for a professional development event hosted by the APGD for up-and-coming junior planners.

I recall entering the sleek headquarters of Leo Burnett, a renowned agency, and finding my place at a spacious oval table surrounded by Germany's young creative talents.

Recently, I had seen the woman holding the training on the cover of “brand eins” a prominent German business magazine known for profiling leading companies and their key figures.

It was all quite impressive, but little did I know that things were about to take a bad turn.

You see, instead of being present, soaking in the atmosphere and the amazing people around me, I was intensely focused on mastering the material.

I was up in my head ... worried about appearing a certain way, wanting to ask clever questions and portray myself as intellectually competent.

The entire time, I was thinking about MYSELF and how I was doing compared to everyone else.

In our final ‘test,’ where we had to present in pairs to showcase our learning, I found myself in a public disagreement with my partner because he said something I deemed image damaging.

I embarrassed myself in front of everyone.

When I look back on my younger self, I have so much empathy for that young woman – she had no awareness of the extent of her self-consciousness … or how much it was costing her.

Not just feeling mortified in front of a group, but the everyday internal judgment, pressure, and stress she was facing, an experience she had been enduring for years and would continue to endure for years to come.

In 2015, a decade later, I found myself in another impressive seminar venue in Oslo, Norway, watching George and Linda Pransky take the stage.

One of my dear business mentors, Nicola Bird, recommended that I attend and listen to them speak about the '3 Principles' – an understanding that had transformed her life completely.

George and Linda radiated a calmness that was entirely new to me, and they emphasized the significance of being present and listening more deeply.

This helped me to stop focusing on the thoughts in my head … and I was able to really hear what they were saying.

One of the many things I heard George say on day one of that seminar and something that impacted me deeply was this:

“Nothing is more stressful for a human being than constantly thinking about themselves and questioning how they’re doing in the world.”

It struck me like a bolt of lightning – immediately I recognized it as TRUTH – and I could have cried right then and there.

The following day, when George and Linda invited us to share something that resonated with us, I stood up.

And despite the room full of strangers, I summoned the courage to be vulnerable and say:

"What I find myself doing most is thinking about myself and asking myself how I’m doing in the world. It feels so heavy."

George simply gazed at me with a deeply understanding and affectionate expression, nodding his head.

I can't precisely recount what unfolded on day two, but upon returning to Germany, things were already starting to shift.

Whenever I sat at my desk, working on my business or with clients, if I caught myself thinking about ME, I'd notice it … and as soon as I noticed, its power faded.

For weeks, I kept noticing, repeatedly, until I realized it wasn't really about me – just an ‘energy experience’ passing through.

The more I caught on to it, the less it affected me … and eventually, I was simply free. Life became much lighter!

For the most part, my self-consciousness subsided and I could just show up present and BE IN LIFE, rather than being stuck in my thoughts about myself.

It's an incredibly beautiful thing, and it's just as achievable for you as it was for me.

Honestly, anyone can become aware of the fact that they think (via insight), notice insecure thoughts, and simply let them be without dwelling on them too much.

Listen, I know it sounds simple ... and yet the effect is profoundly life-changing. I wish that for you more than anything.

How do you get there? Well, you get curious and start looking at how we work as human beings.

For me, the '3 Principles' as Sydney Banks spoke about Mind, Thought, and Consciousness was a way of putting it that I could easily hear and understand.

There are a ton of free resources on the Internet – here are a few I recommend:

The 3 Principles Global Community:
https://3pgc.org/

Our 'My Secret Life' Interview Series:
http://mysecretlife-online.com

Our "TIME FOR YOUR" Podcast:
https://www.shailiastephens.com/podcasts/time-for-you-nurturing-presence-love-and-well-being

With so much love and an abundance of insight and wisdom,

Shailia