Yesterday, Sandra Heim and I were getting ready for a webinar we’re holding next week in German on the topic "The Miracle of Connection".

While preparing and considering what we wanted the webinar participants to explore and experience, we found ourselves immersed in a deeper feeling.

The feeling began to emerge as Sandra discussed two distinct levels of awareness in personal relationships.

The first was the "fact-based" level. On this level, we focus on what’s been said and done, or what’s not been said and done, and how it’s right or wrong.

On this level of awareness, we invest our emotional energy, emphasizing specific actions and events and 'building a case'.

• To a teenager: "You didn't help with putting away the groceries again – I can't do everything by myself while you sit on the couch buried in your phone."

• To a life partner: "We haven't been intimate for 104 days, and you avoid talking about it. Can't you just tell me what's...